New Orleans
Jesus I’ve just seen Harry Connick Jnr on the news rescuing old people single handedly in his gumbo boat. Stripped to the waist, Hollywood muscles bulging, two water canteens strapped like bandoliers to his chest. There’s Harry wading hip deep through the sludge and slime carrying some wizened old guy to safety. Wow what a guy!
Fuck Telethons lets airdrop more celebrities into NOLA. Starting with the Backstreet Boys and Chuck Norris. Stuff those freaky boy band bastards full of MREs and drop them from 300ft. Film Chuck booting each one of them off the helicopter. Cheering as they explode WHOMP there goes the gurning baby faced one. WHOMP! There goes the rat faced one. WHOMP!, WHOMP! Patriots to a man.
Harry for President!
And then on a dime from surreal to tragic again. A woman on Sky News forcibly evicted from her home. She’s standing there this little old lady with a gun and a knife in her frail hands saying she’s not going anywhere when three police officers jump her. She disappears under 600lbs of meaty policemen. Pacified and carted off with other weeping citizens in army trucks to where. A convention centre, a football stadium with 5,000 others? This tragedy that has played out on our tv screens and on the net is there no end to it?
September 9th, 2005 at 8:31 am
Did you see the pics of Sean Penn’s attempts? The boat sprung a leak and he then had to be rescued.
September 9th, 2005 at 9:56 am
Yes he has not the power of gumbo like Harry. Strong gris gris. In his defence Penn’s publicist claimed there were simply too many people in the boat and it started taking on water. They claimed Penn saved over 40 people. Maybe he did. Maybe he paid Harry to do it.
September 9th, 2005 at 10:17 am
Where’s Ray Mears? That’s what I want to know.