Tales Of The Gurrier

Why in the name of Jaysus is this lanky strip of a mickeydazzler left with the use of both his legs to walk the highways and byways of Ireland . Why hasn’t he been hog tied to the back of a Ford Escort and dragged through the streets of Dublin so decent Irish skins can kick him in the goolies for all the trouble he’s caused. Dump the cod Irish shite in the Dodder and burn down the Point Depot so no more of this codology can take place. Look at this thing look at it! Michael ‘The Pox’ Flatley is the Celtic Tiger.

Begob that’s pure trua. All our troubles began when fat necked Gerry Ryan and Cynthia Ní Mhurchúrathanichaineach introduced those leppin’ bastards onto the stage eleven years ago. Janey mack would ye credit it. Irish dancing mixed with oily chested spivs, the yanks love it, the cod oirish love it, feck it even the Brits love the poxy thing. Bill Whelan was writing jingles for briquettes and nappies until the Riverdance came calling. Now I hear he shites through a golden sieve.

Always a man for modesty the show is described on the website thus:

Michael Flatley, the internationally acclaimed master of dance returns to the stage to spearhead his powerful new dance spectacular, Celtic Tiger. With his unrivalled skill and artistry, Michael Flatley ignites the world of dance once again with a bold, dramatic and daring production which fuses the spirit of Ireland and its history with dance and music. The result is an epic masterpiece in which Michael Flatley pushes the creative boundaries to deliver Irish dance as a dynamic and power (sic) art form.

Oh God it gives me a pain in me face just looking at it. Do you think he will keep making these cultural car crashes? On and on past retirement age 60, 70, 80. Fifteen facelifts and titanium knees. Hips going off like bangers on Moore street. Bang! ‘What was that?’ ‘Its alright that’s lefty warming up. Just point me at the stage and pass the baby oil.’ Michael Flatley ‘Feet of flames, Knees of Steel, Arse of Jelly’

Under no circumstances should you click here to see a live montage of Michael in action.

And from Michael’s own website his fans have this to say about his new show.

whomever wrote and created that mess should be fired. I want my money back -what a dissapointment!

The people have spoken The Gurrier can say no more.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 18th, 2005 at 9:10 pm and is filed under Bloggery. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.