Tales Of The Gurrier

‘Psst, yo buddy, need a contact? I got contacts here lotsa contacts. Whaddya need?’ ‘No thanks I don’t need any contacts thank you.’ ‘So what you doin’ here, you don’t need no contacts huh? I got plenty a contacts. Got a Harajuku Girl here with a five point two rating and a half mil spread [...]

After the psychic visited, mother’s cutlery was never the same again. The forks took on a life of their own and concealed themselves endlessly in the muddle of the pantry. They would be unearthed in the strangest places, twisted and entwined together like exhausted lovers. They became almost bohemian in their behaviour fraternising with the [...]

He stared at the empty bottle sitting on the shelf. The label read ‘Hydrogen Tartrate’ he didn’t even know what that was. Empty, it was half full when he arrived. A white, glistening powder that clung to the sides of the thick glass. The bottle looked ancient, large and thick lipped, stoppered with a glass [...]

In an attempt to inspire myself I came up with a writing game/exercise using Flickr. Flickr has a very cool ‘interestingness’ feature whereby pictures are rated by their, well inherent interestingness. If you visit this link you can view a random sample of interesting photos posted in the last seven days. I spent about an [...]

Head on over to Elimare’s site today to read the latest installment in the Tales of The Gurrier and his enemies, from the poison pen of Red Presley herself. This one is so good I feel it necessary to appropriate it for the canon. I had better crank out another tale soon or they’ll take [...]

I met my first wizard when I was seven years old. He was short and pudgy and stood ahead of me in the queue for sandwiches at school. I didn’t like him. It was because of the sandwiches. The sandwiches were revolting. Pale grey slabs of meat encased in a gelatinous covering of margarine and [...]

So the Gin Lady was stabbed tonight. No it wasn’t me, she stabbed herself, honest. You can read her account of it if you wish but it’s all lies I tell you. First of all she’d been at the gin as usual. Nine pm the horrors start on the button. Maudlin’ she staggers off into [...]