Tales Of The Gurrier

Did you lock the door?

Yes I locked the door.

Are you sure you locked the door?

Yes I’m sure I locked the door.

I don’t think you locked the door.

Will you shut up about the door, its locked ok.

What’s that? I think I heard something!

Heard what, you heard nothing.

I’m sure I heard something. Listen! There it is again.

Jesus H. Do you want me to check the door, is that it?

Well now that you mention it.

Christ I get no peace, I’m up now ok. I’m going to check the door are you happy?

Don’t take that tone with me Marvin. I only asked if you locked the door. You’re the one who got up. I didn’t ask you to get up.

Give me strength, right where’s the lamp?

Isn’t by the corner where you left it.

No it’s not by the corner where I left it. Do you think I would be asking you ‘where’s the lamp’ if it was still in the corner where I left it?

Well I’m sorry but if that’s where you left it then that’s where it should be.

Didn’t you hear me woman. Didn’t you just hear me say it’s not in the corner where I left it.

Oh yeah that’s right I lent it to Marlene on Tuesday night.

You lent our only lamp to Marlene on Tuesday night.

Yes Marvin I lent our only lamp to Marlene because it was late and she had to get home and you know her no good husband stays out till all hours. I wasn’t going to let her go out there at night without a lamp. You know what goes on out there at night Marvin. Now would you please go and check if you locked the door.

You want to tell me how I am supposed to check if I locked the door in the dark with no lamp?

I don’t know Marvin stop being a big baby, be a man. Light a match or something.

Be man she tells me. Light a match she tells me, stop being a baby she tells me. Sheesh why don’t they tell ya about how its going to be like this.

Hmm what’s that Marv?

Nuthin’, nuthin’ dear just checkin’ the door over here. Checkin’ the grille here, nuthin to see, checkin’ the lock here, see nuthin’ to worry,.

Marv? You’re checking the lock and there’s nothing to worry about right. Marvin?

Oh Jeez.

Marvin, what is it Marvin?

I didn’t lock the door.

You didn’t lock the door! Oh great that’s just wonderful. How many this time?

Two I think.

Two! I swear Marvin I don’t know what I was thinking marrying you. My mother warned me, she told me ‘you marry that man you’ll spend eternity regretting it.’ Two, you let two of those little bastards in here.

It’s not so bad look I’ll get rid of them.

You had better get rid of them Marvin. I’m not spending one more night here with those people around. They creep me out Marvin. They’re not normal.

They’re just kids Darlene. It’s just a phase with them these days.

Ohh God I’m so depressed.

Oh Jeez here we go.

Yeah me too. Did you see the way that guy in the store looked at me.

Yeah it was so like what are you doing here.

So anyway the rents were at me again last night. I am so out of that dump when I turn eighteen.

You should get a tattoo. That would really piss them off.

Yeah I’m gonna but I heard you can get hepatitis off the needles and stuff. I’m getting my nipple pierced instead.

Marvin are you gonna do something about this or am I going to have to call my mother.

All right, all ready. Just gimme a minute here. Ahem, GET OUT, AH GET OUTTA HERE YOU!

Did you hear something?

No. It must have been the wind. So I kinda like Steve but he’s like a total jock you know.

BEGONE FROM THE PLACE OF EVIL! WOOOAAAAAHHHHHHH!

There it was again. Did you hear it that time? Kinda like a rustling sighing sound.

You’re smoking crack you know that.

Shut up Charona ok. Look when is Than getting here?

That’s Lord Thanatos to you.

Yeah well I knew him when he was plain old Dwayne from the Photography club.

Look don’t blow this for me ok Sherry. Please just be cool for once. Use my darkened one name when he comes ok. Please?

Sure Carrie er, I mean Charona.

Thank you. Look maybe later on you could come hang out with us.

No thanks, in fact I think I’ll get going.

TURN BACK FROM THIS PLACE, ALL WHO ENTER ARE DOOOOMED!

I don’t think its working Marvin, I’m calling my mother.

No for Gods sake don’t call your mother ok. Look I think one of them is leaving.

Don’t go, you know I don’t like being in this place on my own it creeps me out.

The mouth on her. Did you hear her Marvin. And what may I ask is wrong with this ‘place’ young lady!

Creeps you out huh. What kind of a ‘Dark One’ are you anyway. Bet Lord Than would love to hear his little gothbitch is afraid of the dark.

Shut up. Look I’m sorry let’s just forget it ok. Smoke?

What kind?

Menthol.

Yeah ok.

Marvin if that girl lights a cigarette in our home I am leaving. MARVIN FINKELSTEIN IF THAT YOUNG LADY LIGHTS HER CIGARETTE IN OUR HOME I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!

Jesus what the hell was that?

I don’t know but it sounded like someone torturing a cat.

You’re right this place does give me the creeps. Let’s go.

Are they leaving? Oh thank God. We really should consider moving Marvin. I hear there’s a nice plot available up in Franklin Oaks. Very quiet, very respectable. Nice and close for visiting my mother. Marvin? Marvin are you listening to me?

God I wish I had a cigarette. Even a menthol.

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This story is part of Flickr Fiction Friday and inspired by this photo from Flickr user Extranoise

Elimare, Teaandcakes and Chris are also taking part in this bit of fun. Click on the links to read their versions.

This entry was posted on Friday, June 9th, 2006 at 11:22 am and is filed under Flickr Fiction. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.