Tales Of The Gurrier

The woman in white picked her way carefully through the deadly flora and stepped onto the red dust of the dirt road.

“Welcome Visitor”

Blorp!

The blue flower opened its obscenely fleshy stamen and sneezed a thick rope of bluish phlegm over its neighbours. The woman screamed and took a step backward.

“Shit! I thought that goddamn earth bank was sedated. Frank, Frank!”

“Lets have her do the walk through again.”

Blorp!

“Again? Is that wise. They look restless.”

Blorp! Blorp! Blorp!

“Christ that’s three. Masks everyone please.”

“I don’t fucking care, do you know how much we spent on satellite UV shielding for this shoot? Two million an hour Winston. Yes an hour. That’s six million blown this morning because that stupid Mesitzo you hired can’t walk in a straight line for thirty seconds.”

“Bob its 115 degrees out there. She’s already got 1st degree burns over half her body. ”

“I don’t care if the bitch fucking melts do you hear me! Tell her if she can’t get it in the next shot we’re sending her kids out there to play in the dirt. What’s the big fucking deal with these blue tulips?”

‘Amatorius Naresium, more commonly known in these parts as ‘Blue Nosebloom,’ ‘Kiss Me Cobalt’, or the ‘Love Nostril’. Have you ever seen what happens if that blue shit gets on your skin?’

‘Nope.’

“Your cock turns blue.”

“Really? A blue cock. Wow that’s kinda hot.”

“Then you get a four day erection. I’m talking the biggest raging hard on of your life. You go stark staring humpfuck crazy. So crazy you’ll fuck your way through a leper ward just to get some relief. Day five your cock rots off and you shit out your intestines. They’re blue too.”

“Jesus that’s gross. Still a blue cock and an invincible boner, it’s got potential. I know some guys back home who might be interested. Look we’re wasting time here. You’ve got coverage for the next half hour after that anything still out here made of meat is going to be fucked into a cocked hat. See that it’s taken care of, I’m going back to the hotel.”

“Okay people let’s take this from the top. Frank I want twenty gallons of Florased over the entire area. Fire teams on standby. If just one of those fucking triffids gets a hard on I want the little bastard fried. Ok toss her out. What do you mean she’s unconscious. Julio! Get me Julio. I need amphetamines. Ah Julio there you are. Our model is a little limp from the heat. She needs a pick me up and while you’re at it why don’t you add another botox facial to the mix I don’t want any fear reactions turning up in the close ups.”

“Okay people, mark and….action.”

“Welcome Visitor, our Promise? Mars it’s like nothing you imagined.”

Blorp!

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This story is part of Flickr Fiction Friday #4 and inspired by this photo from Flickr user Ozyman.

Chris, Elimare, Teaandcakes, Littlegoat and Aquafortis are also taking part in this little bit of fun. Click on the links to read their versions.

This entry was posted on Friday, June 23rd, 2006 at 11:12 am and is filed under Flickr Fiction. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.