Tales Of The Gurrier

The glow from the tv sent light and shadow flickering over his face. He was tired.
How long? Days now.
He knew exactly what to do.
Each day he would bring one of them out to the shed and do away with them.
The birds had been the first to mention it.
‘Caw. Caw. Caw’
It was only later he realised […]

There was briefly a review of Writely and it’s post to blog feature here but it managed to completely balls up not only the post, but the entire site design and so has now been removed. I’ll give it another run when they are out of beta.

No I have no idea why, it is what it is.
Now it’s in your head too and I can get on with some proper work.

Now this is what I’m talking about. Man products for real men.
“Stag - A mans cream for a mans face. It invigorates and hardens the facial muscles and promotes an alert, forceful expression.” Fuck you Fudge Membrane Gas my Stag cream gives me “the clear, rugged, ruddy face of a real he-man; the healthy, clean […]

Love to stuff your face with pies? Can’t stop eating crisps? Body dysmorphia sufferer? Anorexic? American?
Don’t you just hate it when those candid holiday photos make you look like the hideous bloated whale carcass that you are?
The camera never lies, except now it does! Thanks to new FlaBEgone® technology (patent pending) one click makes you […]

“What does he do?”
“He peels them.”
“Ah gawd.”
“He comes in the night and peels them like a banana. Strips them like paint.”
“Aw gawd, aw gawd dammit! They never had a chance.”
“They never know what hit them. One minute staring into space being all beautiful and shit, the next ssshhhrrrrrrk! Peeled.”
“How?”
“Some say he has a knife sharper […]

Sean O’Riordan sat silently in the passenger seat of his father’s 1954 Austin Cambridge as the tiny car trundled slowly through the arched stone gateway, crossed the cattle grid and began its leisurely approach to the broad grey Georgian building looming in the distance. In the drivers seat his father, Sean O’Riordan Snr breathed heavily […]

“Mirror, Mirror…MIRROR!”
“You are beautiful, so beautiful. The fairest of the fair my lady. The greenest eyes that ever saw a sunrise, with lips as red as the darkest rubies and skin like the driven snow. Hair like spun gold and an ass that just won’t quit”
“That’s enough!”
“What can’t a man admire the voluptuousness of a […]