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A Season of Mists and Lamentations

Nano

November comes, the season of mists and lamentations. Far to the North, a scent on the wind. The Nano Beast has been sighted in the wastelands.

Yes it’s that time of year again. Nanowrimo begins in a few short weeks. This year, in addition to turning thirty at the beginning of the second week, I have very special house guests in the third, a crippling work schedule and I somehow managed to volunteer as co-Municipal Liaison for the Dublin region along with Elimare. Glutton for punishment me.

But I come prepared for these things, I have my special whiskys and my beloved writers jacket. For the whisky this year I shall mostly be fueled by Springbank, 10 year old, Single Malt. Only the good stuff for me. The writers jacket; an instrument of great power and a necessary evil for any gentleman attempting to write 50,000 in 30 days. Once donned the writers jacket imbues the wearer with +10 introspection and Mowbury’s ISR (impenetrable shield of righteousness).

Gentlemen writers in search of a proper writers jacket would do well to peruse the unexplored regions of their local charity shop or Church jumble sale. I purchased mine in M&S but as I said, only the best for me. Said jacket should be in a classic, yet casual cut, preferably in corduroy, twill, or tweed with optional elbow patches in leather or leatherette. A word of warning; combining a corduroy writers jacket with leather elbow patches can lead to a -15 charisma penalty and a +10 D4 save against seduction, but certain sacrifices must be made for ones art.

For whatever it’s worth I also have a half decent story worked out, but I place my faith in these symbols of office rather than ability. This blog may go dark for periods next month but fear not I will not be enjoying myself without you. I will most likely be spilling whisky onto my keyboard and blubbering somewhere.

This entry was posted on Friday, October 13th, 2006 at 9:33 pm and is filed under Bloggery. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

10 Responses to “A Season of Mists and Lamentations”

  1. Neil Struthers Says:
    October 15th, 2006 at 3:41 pm

    Damn you for making me want a Writer’s Jacket. Over at M&S, they’ll be confused: we don’t normally sell any of these, they’ll say, but this year they’re disappearing fast.

    Or: I might go back to my Writer’s Headdress, which is a t-shirt tied around my head in such a way as to make me look vaguely Arabic.

    Coolness +5
    Eastern Promise +15
    Ability To Answer The Door -50

  2. Brian Says:
    October 15th, 2006 at 5:47 pm

    I got me a Writer’s Jacket a couple of years ago in Galway, but as of yet I have done no writing in it. I usually write in a pair of Homer Simpsons slippers.

  3. Donal Says:
    October 15th, 2006 at 8:05 pm

    Whatever works Brian, whatever works. As in many thing the Simpsons can give us guidance:

    Episode #123, Secrets of a Successful Marriage (1994).

    Homer: Look everyone, now that I’m a teacher I’ve sewn patches on my elbows.
    Marge: Homer that’s supposed to be leather patches on a tweed jacket, not the other way around. You’ve ruined a perfectly good jacket.
    Homer: Correction, Marge.
    [He holds up a tweed jacket with two large holes in the back]
    Homer: Two perfectly good jackets.

  4. Isobel Says:
    October 15th, 2006 at 11:35 pm

    Ahhh, the magical powers of the writer’s jacket. I’m not sure what the female equivalent is – some sort of eccentric scarf thingy?

  5. Donal Says:
    October 15th, 2006 at 11:51 pm

    Possibly a giant scruffy bag of some kind, filled with boiled sweets, pens, notebooks, packets of sugar, fluff, overdue library books and bus tickets.

  6. Linus Says:
    October 16th, 2006 at 9:15 am

    Dude, making D&D references is a quicker and safer way of reducing your charisma without the expense of a jacket.

    Best of luck with nanowrimo,yo.

  7. Is Says:
    October 16th, 2006 at 12:07 pm

    OK, I think I’m covered in that respect then. I have all the props I need. With bonus knitting.

  8. Steve Says:
    October 16th, 2006 at 6:20 pm

    I’ve been pointed in this direction by Sir Linus of Ingoldsby. Frankly, it disturbs me that I do actually own a writer’s jacket. It cost the grand old sum of six Irish pounds. It has a large number of holes. It hangs on the back of my bedroom door and stares at the back of my head. I hate the fact that, when not wearing it, I can’t seem to write a single useful sentence. That’s about it there… good luck next month.

  9. Donal Says:
    October 16th, 2006 at 8:36 pm

    Hi Steve, welcome to the old place. Cheers for the encouragement.

    Sir Linus Ingoldsby, I remember him well. I wrote a piece for his centenary, now if I can dig it out of my hard drive

    Ah yes, here it is:

    Sir Linus Ingoldsby V.C. probably the bravest man I have ever met. I once saw him pull fifteen orphans from a burning building and breastfeed them all back to good health under enemy fire. Distinguished himself in the Royal Irish Dragoons at Balaclava and Lahore. Wounded twice in the line of duty he was honourably discharged in 1856 and awarded the Victoria Cross in 1860. He continued his service in army intelligence until his retirement in 1889, at the age of 74. Apart from the infamous Kings Cross ‘Nightwalker’ incident of 1865 and his shadowy involvement in the Schleswig-Holstein affair precipitating the Franco-Prussian war of 1870 Ingoldsby’s reputation remains unbesmirched as a dashing adventurer, entrepreneur and swashbuckler. He was described by Disraeli in his memoirs as “That damnable Irishman, to whom we owe everything, damn his eyes” and by Queen Victoria in her private letters as “That curious drunken Paddy, devious yet brave as a cornered mink”

    In his later years he retired to the quaint, English seaside village of Pease Pottage and indulged his hobby for taxidermy, once stuffing an entire farmyard diorama in an afternoon. He passed away peacefully in the saddle of his favourite horse Dobbin, touring his country estates in the spring of 1901. His greatest detractor was Churchill who claimed he was nothing more than “a jumped up, cowardly mucksavage, fit for nothing but the flop-house and the dropsy.” But as Ingoldsby was said to have given the Sealord a sound thrashing as young boy, when he caught him scrumping apples from his orchard, this opinion is assumed to be sour-grapes on the great mans part.

  10. Sarah Says:
    October 17th, 2006 at 7:03 am

    Maybe that’s my problem…I don’t have a special writing jacket or other totemic item. Perhaps I need to buy a +5 Keyboard of Inspiration.

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