Tales Of The Gurrier

**Election Eruption**Election Eruption**Election Eruption**

I’m late with this and election eruptions are everywhere, the stench of sulphur and raiméis lies heavy over the country.

More soon.

Level Two warning

Government to buy out M50 Toll bridge.

Ahh, the M50. Slinking like a concrete tapeworm around the guts of dear ‘auld Dublin Townâ„¢. The M50 represents the physical manifestation of all that is wrong and bad in the land of Ireland. Romantic commentators have likened this deluded country to a fair faced woman, Kathleen Ni Houlihan, Mother Mo Chroi, well then, take a good look, because the M50 is our Picture of Dorian Gray. A long, grey rope of congested tarmac, punctuated by the concrete roadkill and bastard creations of rapacious property moguls and corrupt politicians.

The M50, for the benefit of my foreign readers, is simply a ring road, a motorway, a bypass, encircling the congested heart of Dublin city. Conceived in the dark days of the the cash strapped 1970’s this unambitious, two lane strip of motorway, stretching twenty five miles around the city, took over twenty years to complete and overran by many tens of millions of euros.

The dark tragedy of this pathetic road building program, was the glee and savagery, with which our elected officials used the construction project to funnel vast sums of cash into their own personal coffers and offshore bank accounts. The congested shitstorm left to us by these corrupt gombeen men now blights the lives of those who have the miserable misfortune to live in it’s shadow and the wretched souls forced to use it each day.

The nadir of this massive failure of imagination and social inequity is the impacted bowel of the Westlink Toll Bridge. Squatting over the liffey valley on concrete stilts, the giant bung in arse of Dublin. The whiff of rumour in the air this week is the imminent buyout of the owners of the Toll Bridge, by our benevolent leaders. €600m is the figure bandied about, another wodge of cash into the money hole.

Update: The toll bridge survives until 2008, when the French arrive to sell us barrier free tolling.

The Other Crowd:

Not content to allow the government steal their thunder, Tight Panted Enda thrusts himself to the forefront of social debate with a plan to tackle the scourge of DRUGS. How will Enda tackle the devil of DRUGS! Why, by drug testing children. That’s right, drug testing children. That’s his plan.

This is why I hate politicians so much. This is why I stare glumly into the murky cesspool, gathered in the deformed stump, that is Irish politics, and gnaw on my fists with rage. Politics and more accurately, political parties, attract the worst kind of gobshite in our society. The very worst, useless, bags of meat and skin, the most odious, talentless crawlers and know nothing wasters. To rise to the top of this bunch of terrified, scare mongering, bumgobs all one truly needs is the burning desire to deathfuck anyone or thing that stands in your way. Consequently whatever snake eyed replicant or hideous throwback arises from the machiavellian power struggles in cumanns and backrooms across the country and turns their basilisk stare on all of us, the likes of Drug Testing Children and Bootcamps for Gurriers emerge from their yawping mushes.

Do not be taken in by the demands of the DeathFuckers! Send them back to their dark holes in the ground and demand a little foreplay first. It’s all we have to hope for.

(With thanks to BiffSniff for the lovely Drug Test Dail Eireann button.)

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 14th, 2007 at 6:28 pm and is filed under Bloggery. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.