Nobody tells me what to do!
What will you be like when you are old? Chris says this.
I am very much looking forward to becoming the second gentleman in this clip. Please watch until the very end for full awesomeness. Work Warning: shouty and cursing
Found via The Club of Mars.
September 17th, 2007 at 5:57 pm
I have a very clear plan of what I’m going to do when I’m old; I’m going to lie to my grandchildren. Spin them all kinds of lies, fill their little heads with detailed, interlocking systems of nonsense that seem real and perfectly reasonable until they go to school and their home-made pocket realities clash with those of their peers.
I just want to make the world a more magical place, that’s all.
Plus, when I’m really old–totally edge of existence kind of old–I’m going to fake my own senility for a few months. Then I’m going get up early some morning (as old folk do), dye my hair and eyebrows back to their original colour, use cotton wads to fill out my sunken cheeks, and spend the day going about totally calm and lucid like nothing was ever wrong. I’ll be like, ha! You thought I was on the way out, did you?
September 17th, 2007 at 8:08 pm
Awesome.
In fact, some of it is scarily familiar already.
September 17th, 2007 at 11:12 pm
I watched this without sound at work–I realise now, there was no point. The true wonder is in what the old Samuel-Beckett-looking chap says. “Not even Jesus Christ could tell me what to do.” Brilliant.
September 18th, 2007 at 4:41 am
I think I shall devote my later years to blaming television for bad grammar as well. I already make a career out of it in the teaching sector.
Maybe I can blame Jesus for it as well!
September 18th, 2007 at 9:21 am
Neil, best line ever.
September 20th, 2007 at 1:45 pm
The question is whether you could understand the chap with the cigarette. If you could … well, you’re better than I!
September 20th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Oh yes, initially he’s incomprehensible, but slowly the words emerge as if spoken from very far away or by a ventriloquist. Give yourself a few more months in Glasgow and you’ll have no trouble.
September 21st, 2007 at 6:48 pm
I’m truly speechless. And yes, man #1 sounded very much as though he were trying to put words in the mouth of a ventriloquist’s dummy, or perhaps he was doing a Keith Richards impression.
October 2nd, 2007 at 7:24 pm
When I was a young and impressionable lad, my great-grandfather stood up at the dinner table, totally without provocation, and said: “Well, I think I ’bout decided: I ain’t goin’ to church no more. Had ’bout enough of that.”
Needless to say, that’s when I stopped going to church as well (well, mentally, at least — they made me go for another nine years).