Witchseed
Clear evidence of a witch infestation in the garden. Witches hibernate underground for the Winter and this Witchjelly or ‘Witchseed’ as it was once called bubbles to the surface. The only thing to do is burn and scourge the affected area and sow it with salt so nothing may ever again take root in the poisoned earth.
January 13th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
What’s it feel like? Is this that “frog-spawn” stuff?
January 13th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
One should never let Witchseed come into contact with exposed skin. Untreated witchseed exposure can lead to weeping boils, warts and and in extreme cases Protestantism.
Although similar in outward appearance witchseed and frogspawn are two totally unrelated materials.
The Gin Lady claims they are not witchseed at all, but watercrystals. Rubbish, I know a witch infestation when I see one.
January 13th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
I’m still traumatised by that photo.
January 13th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Oops, meant to add that I’ve blogged my version.
January 14th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
It looks like you’ve captured some sort of extraterrestrial messenger of hope and love and you’re using him to generate alien manure for your straw. I also note that you are feeding him nothing but Abrakebabra burgers. This is a being with a metabolic system based on the on the liberation of wigner energy from the crystalline breath-mist of God.
(Why are you growing straw?)
I imagine his waifish grey body trembling with the terrible withdrawl symptoms that come with such a drastic metabolic switch–from a diet of God-breath and starlight to that of a Dublin streetperson. He twitches spasmodically in his too-small chickenwire cage while you fawn over your precious patch of straw.
I hear him now–begging for freedom in a language of slow cooing tones and piping chords. In response, you turn up the Mamma Mia soundtrack and unwrap another burger. He wails something hopeless and diminished.
January 14th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
You’ll have to ask The Gin Lady about the straw. When I bought them they were pansies, fucking pansies. The Gin Lady is afflicted with ‘The Black Thumb,’ which transmogrifies all plant life in her vicinity into straw.
The stench from that alien dysentery manure is something awful.
January 14th, 2009 at 11:55 pm
Two people! There are TWO people living here responsible for killing every living thing that we plant.
January 15th, 2009 at 12:07 am
I keep telling you, Teaandcakes and The Gin Lady ARE THE SAME PERSON!