Comments on: The Cabinetmaker http://thegurrier.com/2009/02/01/the-cabinetmaker/ Wed, 08 Dec 2010 14:08:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: DaviMack http://thegurrier.com/2009/02/01/the-cabinetmaker/comment-page-1/#comment-39410 DaviMack Tue, 03 Feb 2009 18:26:42 +0000 http://thegurrier.com/?p=682#comment-39410 The man upstairs might make you another, if you're good.... The man upstairs might make you another, if you’re good….

]]> By: Donal http://thegurrier.com/2009/02/01/the-cabinetmaker/comment-page-1/#comment-39368 Donal Mon, 02 Feb 2009 23:39:03 +0000 http://thegurrier.com/?p=682#comment-39368 Stop it Struthers, stop your perverted jabberings! I have a weakness for paranoia, and this talk only drives me to the whiskey cupboard. Oh God, my precious whiskey cabinet! Stop it Struthers, stop your perverted jabberings!

I have a weakness for paranoia, and this talk only drives me to the whiskey cupboard. Oh God, my precious whiskey cabinet!

]]> By: Neil http://thegurrier.com/2009/02/01/the-cabinetmaker/comment-page-1/#comment-39353 Neil Mon, 02 Feb 2009 17:23:30 +0000 http://thegurrier.com/?p=682#comment-39353 "Dear Diary," writes the Cabinetmaker. "The man downstairs...I think he's the Promised One. He smells like the back of my grandfather's whiskey cupboard." “Dear Diary,” writes the Cabinetmaker. “The man downstairs…I think he’s the Promised One. He smells like the back of my grandfather’s whiskey cupboard.”

]]> By: Neil http://thegurrier.com/2009/02/01/the-cabinetmaker/comment-page-1/#comment-39351 Neil Mon, 02 Feb 2009 16:56:06 +0000 http://thegurrier.com/?p=682#comment-39351 What you want to do is mix up a perfume out of wood glue and mahogany varnish and splash it liberally around the old pits before you talk to this man. He will be compelled to do anything you say. Keep a bag of brass screws in your pocket and jangle them if the perfume isn't enough. By that stage he should be a jibbering pile of man-shaped jelly but if not, what you want to do is reveal some walnut from your jacket, and start stroking the grain whilst talking to him. Talk about the grain. Talk about how the grain makes you <i>feel.</i> What you want to do is mix up a perfume out of wood glue and mahogany varnish and splash it liberally around the old pits before you talk to this man. He will be compelled to do anything you say.

Keep a bag of brass screws in your pocket and jangle them if the perfume isn’t enough. By that stage he should be a jibbering pile of man-shaped jelly but if not, what you want to do is reveal some walnut from your jacket, and start stroking the grain whilst talking to him. Talk about the grain.

Talk about how the grain makes you feel.

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