Tales Of The Gurrier

There is a tradition, here amongst us Dubs, and when I say tradition, I mean a perverted and horrifying compulsion on my part, to scribble ugly little tales of our unmerry band. My ‘friends’, if so benign an appellation can be used to describe this band of hairy perverts and criminals, will cast their eyes [...]

It was hot, too damn hot. By 11am the booze had run out, a bad start to the day. The hovel was a sweltering pigsty and The Gin Lady was in a foul mood.
‘Get me a drink Paddy. I need a fucking drink just to look at you’.
It was too much. I had to [...]

Head on over to Elimare’s site today to read the latest installment in the Tales of The Gurrier and his enemies, from the poison pen of Red Presley herself. This one is so good I feel it necessary to appropriate it for the canon. I had better crank out another tale soon or they’ll take [...]

Good people today I bring you a rare treat. A tale crafted by The Bastard Kesey’s own fair hand. There are but two or three of these known to exist and this one came into my possession through great personal risk. I present it here that you may delight in a true talent at work.
A [...]

Part I of The Gurrening is here.
It was much later when The Gurrier awoke. His head was swimming and he felt like someone had put his tongue in backwards and glued it to the roof of his mouth. He’d seen Kesey do that to someone before and was relieved when he felt it move sluggishly [...]

Well it’s that time of year again, the Season of Fearfulness is almost done and its time for the annual Christmas message. This year I hope you will enjoy my specially recorded gobcast. If you don’t want to hear my dulcet tones you’ll find the tale of ‘The Nightmare before Kesey’ below. Click here for [...]

Night spread an inky blackness across the grey spires of the unhappy city. The moon appeared momentarily from cover and down below briefly illuminated in the rain slicked streets a dark figure approached the warped and twisted entrance of a dilapidated tenement house.
The Bastard Kesey gazed upwards at the boarded up windows and smiled [...]

As a bleak grey morning broke over the valley a thin scratching sound could be heard coming from The Hut. Several sheets of torn, yellowing paper appeared under the door. Kesey bent down and snatched them up.
“What’s it like?” said Heinous “are there any guns?”
Keseys lips moved as he read the last few words. He [...]