Tales Of The Gurrier

Photo owned by Eoin O’Mahony (cc) A biting North wind whipped in off the bay and skirled about the unhappy, rainsoaked streets of Dublin town. It whirled down slick gutters and burnt chimney pots; sending gouts of hot brown ash and cinders into the living rooms of North Dublin. It tore knickers and hairy argyle [...]

“‘Jesus H. Christ, would you look at them,” said Kesey, “just look at them!” A throng of twenty or more gathered in the pool of light dribbling from an open doorway. They stood some six feet, six inches tall, in five inch heels and crotchless nurses outfits. The Alpha Female, clad in a grim covering [...]

There is a tradition, here amongst us Dubs, and when I say tradition, I mean a perverted and horrifying compulsion on my part, to scribble ugly little tales of our unmerry band. My ‘friends’, if so benign an appellation can be used to describe this band of hairy perverts and criminals, will cast their eyes [...]

It was hot, too damn hot. By 11am the booze had run out, a bad start to the day. The hovel was a sweltering pigsty and The Gin Lady was in a foul mood. ‘Get me a drink Paddy. I need a fucking drink just to look at you’. It was too much. I had [...]

Head on over to Elimare’s site today to read the latest installment in the Tales of The Gurrier and his enemies, from the poison pen of Red Presley herself. This one is so good I feel it necessary to appropriate it for the canon. I had better crank out another tale soon or they’ll take [...]

Good people today I bring you a rare treat. A tale crafted by The Bastard Kesey’s own fair hand. There are but two or three of these known to exist and this one came into my possession through great personal risk. I present it here that you may delight in a true talent at work. [...]

Part I of The Gurrening is here. It was much later when The Gurrier awoke. His head was swimming and he felt like someone had put his tongue in backwards and glued it to the roof of his mouth. He’d seen Kesey do that to someone before and was relieved when he felt it move [...]

Well it’s that time of year again, the Season of Fearfulness is almost done and its time for the annual Christmas message. This year I hope you will enjoy my specially recorded gobcast. If you don’t want to hear my dulcet tones you’ll find the tale of ‘The Nightmare before Kesey’ below. Click here for [...]